I was ill yesterday, which puts me way behind on everything, all the cleaning and rearranging that has to be done before tomorrow. Most of the mess is my own, from crafting and my sorry ass attempt at organizing lol!!
I'll admit, I'm very nervous! I keep having these flashes of daymares where these people just shoot us down with their brows furrowed. Shame us for ever thinking we were any kind of deserving, like so many have done in the past. Or, they approve us for minimum pay at minimum hours a week with limited resources and they pocket more money because of it. All these horrible scenarios, back to back, grandpa and I keep jumping at these awful possibilities that torture our sleep deprived minds.
With the idea I have in my head of how this will go, I have a better chance of opening a 24 hour daycare in my home! It may not be nearly as bad as my mind ponders it to be, but after everything we've been through, we have learned to expect the worst.
I'm a 'flowers and rainbows' kind of soul, where my initial thought is that of light hearted people that want to give their all and then some. This world is almost too ugly for people like me!
What ever higher power that is watching over us, please see us through great success! My family needs a good deed!
And when this is over and we have what we need, that sigh of relief will be the highlight of my year, the ability to take total care without worry or doubt will be the highlight of this past half decade. The ability to smile a genuine smile will be the highlight of my life.
My forehead is scrunched up into a mess of lines, going this way and that. I need a hug, I need encouragement.
And now, I need to pee! lol
Wish me luck on this whole cleaning thing!
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