No Need For Finger Crossing

Ah, at last…I say again, a sigh of relief that is most overdue!

Friday, Friday, gotta get down on friday!!! Its the day that we've been waiting for, for almost 3 years!

The politics in this particular category of "Lifestyle" has me wanting to write a book. Everyone needs to know what we've been through, and maybe help other families avoid the same mistakes we made. I want to warn the world about this. Maybe help you prepare yourself better, so you may keep yourself in tact through the whole process. I lost myself in the midst of false hope, emotional anguish, life shattering disappointment, and most of all, the straight drop to the underbelly of the deepest depression I've ever known.

Everything zipped by without my knowledge! Family tore us down, ripped us to shreds and stabbed our backs with the sharpest of knives. Other family stood in shock as they watched our world bend and break before their eyes. You tend to forget your accomplishments when they do you no good in a tar pit.

Creating an ACTUAL support group that doesn't scam you out of money, supporting each other through these impossible times, thats something I need to do. I didn't have a support group outside of these walls, but, honey I wish I had!

All the wondering and worry…its still there and very fresh!

We still wonder if Mama will come back, wakeup one day and know who we are. Know who her adoring husband is, know how much we cared for her all this time. None of us can come to terms with the idea that she's gone forever, in an abyss we'll never know to tell about. Its waking up every day and pondering on outlandish ideas and sulking in the realization that even a good idea, no one would help.

Today is Wednesday, my stomach is in knots. I'm too numb to be excited, so I'll dub it as stress of their judgment. Last night I was on my knees with bleach trying to reach every crevice in hopes that it'd be well enough to the eye, like solid proof of what we do, right there in a squeaky clean corner. HAHA oh, boy…someone turn this stress to excitement for me PLEASE!!




Ok, all done!

No need for finger crossing, I'll take it as it comes, and I'll deal with it when it does.