Being Social Creatures

I'm the kind of girl who is afraid of being alone.

I'm sensitive and family oriented, as long as the people are kind. But, when I'm put in an uncomfortable situation, I'm the type to get out of the situation. Going against my nature, I don't want to be social if its constantly negative energy coming back to me. Actually, its easier for me to go in to hiding than it is to mirror that attitude.

Being social creatures, we are always put in harms way, whether we like it or not. People are people and people can be insensitive when its most convenient for them, regardless of how it will impact you on a personal or social level.

Knowing someone for 20 years v.s. knowing someone for less than a single year, who would you be more comfortable around? Knowing most of one person means that its easier for you to handle a confrontation or argument. Less than a year of knowing someone, they are still capable of surprising you with unexpected blows, their words can hurt a different part of you, a part that is unsure of forgiveness.

Males and Females are so very different when it comes to social processing. Sensitive female + Insensitive Male = problems. But what good relationship doesn't have problems?

Talking about my situation, yes, I am going to be careful about my wording, because I care. Sure, I'd love to unload my complaints and express my feelings on MY blog, but God forbid these people find it and read it…I'd be run out of town with Torch and Pitchfork if I said it how it is.

I just can't seem to shake this feeling that I never had a chance. I'm, once again, forced into a situation that I cannot be in. I don't want to, and I can't.

The dangers (yes, DANGERS) of innocently existing in this situation, the confined feeling is overwhelming, the disrespect and disregard…I just don't understand. Haven? Maybe for them, definitely not for me! The broken promises, the anger, frustration…all I can do is sit there…LITERALLY thats all I can do. I'm not a child, nor am I an animal or less than, though thats the way I feel I'm seen.

The simple answer has been there from the beginning, but I care. I love and I'm being indirectly punished for that. Sounds dramatic, but it still hurts all the same.

If you have read this far, Please hear me when I say "Don't mistreat others and don't let them mistreat you. Don't let someone else make you feel bad for being human and having needs. Don't make someone feel bad for expressing themselves. Power trips are for the weak minded, selfishness is for the weak willed, being an asshole only gets you a manager position. Chin up, go for the CEO, be the bigger and better person and walk away."

Its going to be hard for me to walk away, considering the fact that my person isn't just an acquaintance, this person was my everything-good, turning into my everything-hurts.